Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Flexcar, Flexpetz, Flexkid, Flexwife
I guess after seeing Flexcar someone in San Diego decided that would be a great idea for pets too and started Flexpetz. Seems reasonable to me. I might want to walk a dog for an hour or two but not have any long term responsibility to it. One interesting thing, Flexpetz was depreciating the dogs as a "7 year useful life" which is probably about right. Who wants to rent an old lifeless dog anyway? I don't think old dogs play fetch. And it would be like renting an old car that might break down on you except in this case the dog could unexpectedly expire on you and that would really be inconvenient. PETA of course is concerned about all the emotional scarring of being bounced from owner to owner and exactly what happens to the dogs when their shelf life expires. So local governments all over have started outlawing this and there is even a national law in the works to outlaw pet rentals.
I personally don’t see anything wrong with it and in fact think we should expand into a couple of others. Flexkid. They have about the same 7 year shelf life, somewhere in the range of 8 to 15. Anything sooner and they’re pretty much useless to do anything with because they aren’t very bright and ask a lot of questions. They’re also uncoordinated. Have you ever tried to play catch with a 6 year old? The ball better be soft because all it’s going to do is bounce off of them and as far as them throwing it back it’ll go any direction but to you. And the worst part is you have to clean up after them and they usually smell bad. Post 15 they just aren’t interested in spending any time with an adult, probably because at this stage of their life they know more than any adult.
Flexwife. Wives have a highly volatile shelf life that can range anywhere from 50 years to as short as 5 minutes after the wedding so these seem to me to be the best prospect for rental. They also have a very limited use. The cost of purchasing one grossly exceeds their actual value. I really can’t think of anything in favor of purchasing versus renting one. With the failure rate of marriages in this country anyway why don’t we dump that concept completely and just each party get a lawyer up front to draw up a limited term contract of maybe 1 to 5 years and at the end of the contract you renew it or each walk away?
I personally don’t see anything wrong with it and in fact think we should expand into a couple of others. Flexkid. They have about the same 7 year shelf life, somewhere in the range of 8 to 15. Anything sooner and they’re pretty much useless to do anything with because they aren’t very bright and ask a lot of questions. They’re also uncoordinated. Have you ever tried to play catch with a 6 year old? The ball better be soft because all it’s going to do is bounce off of them and as far as them throwing it back it’ll go any direction but to you. And the worst part is you have to clean up after them and they usually smell bad. Post 15 they just aren’t interested in spending any time with an adult, probably because at this stage of their life they know more than any adult.
Flexwife. Wives have a highly volatile shelf life that can range anywhere from 50 years to as short as 5 minutes after the wedding so these seem to me to be the best prospect for rental. They also have a very limited use. The cost of purchasing one grossly exceeds their actual value. I really can’t think of anything in favor of purchasing versus renting one. With the failure rate of marriages in this country anyway why don’t we dump that concept completely and just each party get a lawyer up front to draw up a limited term contract of maybe 1 to 5 years and at the end of the contract you renew it or each walk away?
