Saturday, March 18, 2006
Adopt a Pooch
A friend of mine volunteers for Noah's Bark, an animal resuce organization. I couldn't resist filling out an adoption application online.
1.) Why do you want to adopt a pet? Entertainment, food.
2.) Do you live in: Apartment
3.) If you rent, do you have the landlord's permission to own a dog? No Landlord permission, I’m planning on training him to attack the Landlord to keep him out.
4.) How often have you moved in the past 5 years? About every three months, as soon as they realize I have no intention of paying rent. Hopefully with a dog keeping the Landlord at bay I will be able to extend this to 5 or 6 months.
5.) Suppose you move to an apartment or rental that does not accept pets, what would you do? Sneak the dog in during the night.
6.) Does anyone in the household smoke?(some dogs are allergic) No smoking. Chemicals from the meth lab are highly flammable.
7.) Do you foresee any major changes in your life in the next 15 years, (average life span of a dog), such as marriage, children, health problems, going away to college?
Yes No Possibly
If yes, please explain: Prison
8.) Do you have a fenced in yard with no gaps? Yes No If so, how high, what kind? Not at present, but as noted above I could have one in the near future. 20 feet, razor wire.
9.) Number of adults in household? Relationship to you? Just me. I’ve tried to get a woman to move in with me but for some reason it’s been difficult.
10.) How many children live in the household? None. They are all in protective custody and I don’t think I will be allowed to see them again.
13.) Enter the age and type of pets currently in your household? One cat in fridge, aged 3 weeks so he’s about ready for stew.
14.) Do any of your pets currently live (NO) mostly outdoors? Yes No
Please describe:
15.) Are current pets spayed/neutered? Yes No And much more.
17.) Are you able and willing to exercise the dog on a regular basis? Yes No Yes
Method: Pellet Gun – I find they move much faster than when walked on a leash so should be a much better work out for them.
19.) Have you always kept a collar and ID tag on your pets at all time? Yes No Yes, an electrified training collar.
20.) How many pets have you owned in the past? Where are those pets now? Be specific: Lost count. Not sure where they are now, but they were delicious.
21.) Have you ever had a serious behavior problem with a previous pet? Yes No
If yes, please describe. Yes, all of them have turned out to be high strung. I’ve never been lucky enough to get one of those loving snuggle up to you pets.
22.) Were all previous pets spayed/neutered? Yes No Did it matter?
23.) Do you know what heartworm disease is and how to prevent it? Yes No Yes, it is caused by skeeters so I soak all of my pets in the meth lab chemicals to keep them safe.
24.) Is your current dog, (or was your previous dog), on heartworm prevention medication? Yes No No, Vets want you to bring the animal in so they can charge outrageous prices for treatments, it’s not worth it.
25.) How do you plan to prevent fleas and ticks? By getting a dog – hopefully they’ll be more attracted to the dog and infest him instead of me.
26.) How do you feel about spaying or neutering your pet? Why?
27.) How many hours will your new dog be home alone on typical day? None, I don’t go out, my dealers pick up here.
29.) Where will your new pet sleep at night? Chained to the front door.
30.) What percentage of time will the new dog spend inside of house? 100% if he doesn’t escape.
31.) Do you have a doggie door? Yes No NO
Would you consider putting one in? Yes No NO
If "No", please explain: It would aid him in escaping.
32.) What would you expect vet care, heartworm and flea preventative to cost yearly? $0
33.) What type of housetraining procedures will you use? Electrified collar, beatings, and gunpowder in his food.
34.) Under what circumstances do you think it is OK to let a dog outside unattended? As bait to lure another dog in for capturing.
35.) For which of the following reasons would you give up your dog? (please select all that apply)
moving not housebroken
divorce gets too big
shedding not getting along with other pets
allegies behavior problems
barking increased work hours
aggressive medical problems
new baby not getting along with children
getting out of fence none
children lost interest other: If offered enough money from a research center.
36.) Have you ever given a pet up? Yes No NO
If so, please explain the circumstance: Waste not, want not.
37.) What type of pet food do you intend to feed your pet? Leftovers when there are any.
38.) Has a dog died on your premises of distemper, parvo or unknown causes? Yes No No, I’ve always known how they were put down.
39.) Suppose your pet develops a medical problem that becomes expensive, (some treatments can cost thousands of dollars).
What would you do? Dinner
40.) Suppose your pet develops a frequent urination problem at the age of 12. You work 8 hrs a day and he can't hold it that long. Do you:
Have him put to sleep because he is older
Baby-gate him in a place where the flooring is not carpeting
Put in a doggy door
Give him to a rescue group or shelter
other: Is this a trick question? Dogs can actually live 12 years?
41.) If you date or marry someone who does not like or want your pet(s), what would you do? Please elaborate: I really don’t see someone liking or wanting me more than a dog.
42.) How do you feel about dogs being on the furniture? Dogs as furniture is fine, they make great footstools. Oh, “on” furniture, no, they should be on the floor, as a footstool.
43.) If you are adopting a dog with longer hair, will you groom this dog? Yes No
How often? No, I barely groom myself.
44.) How did you hear about us? Radio Newspaper Web Site Word of Mouth TV Other One of your volunteers.
45.) Have you ever looked at or applied for a pet with another rescue group? Yes
How long ago? Several times – I was trying to get one of mine back.
Did you adopt? Yes No No
Please explain: They refused.
46.) Do you object to an unannounced home visit by a representative from our organization? Yes No Not if she’s cute and wearing a bikini.
47.) Please list your Veterinarian's name: Phone number I don’t see a vet, however I do have a psychologist if you need their name.
48.) Please list the name, phone number and address of 3 personal references: All of them are incarcerated so I’ll have to check and see if they can send and receive mail first.
1.) Why do you want to adopt a pet? Entertainment, food.
2.) Do you live in: Apartment
3.) If you rent, do you have the landlord's permission to own a dog? No Landlord permission, I’m planning on training him to attack the Landlord to keep him out.
4.) How often have you moved in the past 5 years? About every three months, as soon as they realize I have no intention of paying rent. Hopefully with a dog keeping the Landlord at bay I will be able to extend this to 5 or 6 months.
5.) Suppose you move to an apartment or rental that does not accept pets, what would you do? Sneak the dog in during the night.
6.) Does anyone in the household smoke?(some dogs are allergic) No smoking. Chemicals from the meth lab are highly flammable.
7.) Do you foresee any major changes in your life in the next 15 years, (average life span of a dog), such as marriage, children, health problems, going away to college?
Yes No Possibly
If yes, please explain: Prison
8.) Do you have a fenced in yard with no gaps? Yes No If so, how high, what kind? Not at present, but as noted above I could have one in the near future. 20 feet, razor wire.
9.) Number of adults in household? Relationship to you? Just me. I’ve tried to get a woman to move in with me but for some reason it’s been difficult.
10.) How many children live in the household? None. They are all in protective custody and I don’t think I will be allowed to see them again.
13.) Enter the age and type of pets currently in your household? One cat in fridge, aged 3 weeks so he’s about ready for stew.
14.) Do any of your pets currently live (NO) mostly outdoors? Yes No
Please describe:
15.) Are current pets spayed/neutered? Yes No And much more.
17.) Are you able and willing to exercise the dog on a regular basis? Yes No Yes
Method: Pellet Gun – I find they move much faster than when walked on a leash so should be a much better work out for them.
19.) Have you always kept a collar and ID tag on your pets at all time? Yes No Yes, an electrified training collar.
20.) How many pets have you owned in the past? Where are those pets now? Be specific: Lost count. Not sure where they are now, but they were delicious.
21.) Have you ever had a serious behavior problem with a previous pet? Yes No
If yes, please describe. Yes, all of them have turned out to be high strung. I’ve never been lucky enough to get one of those loving snuggle up to you pets.
22.) Were all previous pets spayed/neutered? Yes No Did it matter?
23.) Do you know what heartworm disease is and how to prevent it? Yes No Yes, it is caused by skeeters so I soak all of my pets in the meth lab chemicals to keep them safe.
24.) Is your current dog, (or was your previous dog), on heartworm prevention medication? Yes No No, Vets want you to bring the animal in so they can charge outrageous prices for treatments, it’s not worth it.
25.) How do you plan to prevent fleas and ticks? By getting a dog – hopefully they’ll be more attracted to the dog and infest him instead of me.
26.) How do you feel about spaying or neutering your pet? Why?
27.) How many hours will your new dog be home alone on typical day? None, I don’t go out, my dealers pick up here.
29.) Where will your new pet sleep at night? Chained to the front door.
30.) What percentage of time will the new dog spend inside of house? 100% if he doesn’t escape.
31.) Do you have a doggie door? Yes No NO
Would you consider putting one in? Yes No NO
If "No", please explain: It would aid him in escaping.
32.) What would you expect vet care, heartworm and flea preventative to cost yearly? $0
33.) What type of housetraining procedures will you use? Electrified collar, beatings, and gunpowder in his food.
34.) Under what circumstances do you think it is OK to let a dog outside unattended? As bait to lure another dog in for capturing.
35.) For which of the following reasons would you give up your dog? (please select all that apply)
moving not housebroken
divorce gets too big
shedding not getting along with other pets
allegies behavior problems
barking increased work hours
aggressive medical problems
new baby not getting along with children
getting out of fence none
children lost interest other: If offered enough money from a research center.
36.) Have you ever given a pet up? Yes No NO
If so, please explain the circumstance: Waste not, want not.
37.) What type of pet food do you intend to feed your pet? Leftovers when there are any.
38.) Has a dog died on your premises of distemper, parvo or unknown causes? Yes No No, I’ve always known how they were put down.
39.) Suppose your pet develops a medical problem that becomes expensive, (some treatments can cost thousands of dollars).
What would you do? Dinner
40.) Suppose your pet develops a frequent urination problem at the age of 12. You work 8 hrs a day and he can't hold it that long. Do you:
Have him put to sleep because he is older
Baby-gate him in a place where the flooring is not carpeting
Put in a doggy door
Give him to a rescue group or shelter
other: Is this a trick question? Dogs can actually live 12 years?
41.) If you date or marry someone who does not like or want your pet(s), what would you do? Please elaborate: I really don’t see someone liking or wanting me more than a dog.
42.) How do you feel about dogs being on the furniture? Dogs as furniture is fine, they make great footstools. Oh, “on” furniture, no, they should be on the floor, as a footstool.
43.) If you are adopting a dog with longer hair, will you groom this dog? Yes No
How often? No, I barely groom myself.
44.) How did you hear about us? Radio Newspaper Web Site Word of Mouth TV Other One of your volunteers.
45.) Have you ever looked at or applied for a pet with another rescue group? Yes
How long ago? Several times – I was trying to get one of mine back.
Did you adopt? Yes No No
Please explain: They refused.
46.) Do you object to an unannounced home visit by a representative from our organization? Yes No Not if she’s cute and wearing a bikini.
47.) Please list your Veterinarian's name: Phone number I don’t see a vet, however I do have a psychologist if you need their name.
48.) Please list the name, phone number and address of 3 personal references: All of them are incarcerated so I’ll have to check and see if they can send and receive mail first.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Hot For Teacher
I think of all the education that I missed.
But then my homework was never quite like this.
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
I’m hot for teacher.
I got it bad, so bad,
I’m hot for teacher.
Van Halen
Mary Kay from these here parts is now as far as I know living happily with her past student and their two kids. In spite of multiple trysts with a minor and convictions and two pregnancies, she really didn't serve much time.
Now we have the Florida woman who was boinking one of her 14 year old students. She pleaded for a few years house arrest. But wait - another judge is saying he's not going to accept the plea and is going to send it to trial. Had this woman looked as homely as Mary Kay, he wouldn't be doing that. He's just pissed because she's gorgeous and a 14 year old was doing her and not him. As http://debralafave.tripod.com/id1.html notes, "THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ONE LUCKY 14 YEAR-OLD BOY." with a picture of her in a bikini on a bike.
Now if this were a picture of some hunky male guy and it said 14 year-old girl - that would be totally unacceptable. But it isn't, this is a BOY we are talking about and no matter how feminist you get there is a difference between men and women and there always will be. Let's look at the circus act of statements:
Now, the prosecution and the defense have reached a plea agreement and come in and said, we think this is the best thing. Not necessarily for Debra Lafave, the 25-year-old teacher, but for the 14-year-old victim. Psychologists testified saying that he has already experienced some psychological damage and to put him on the stand could further present problems for him down the road.
HORSE PUCKY! The reason she probably got caught in the first place was because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He's 14, he's doing someone like that, he's telling everyone. My 8th grade algebra teacher Ms Pool - she was nice. Great butt. We used to chalk her stool so she's get chalk on her butt that wiggled when she erased the board. Had I been doing her, everyone would have known. This kid's mother may have sufferred some psychological damage, but the kid didn't and his father is probably proud.
Heck, they should let it go to trial - as long as it's not a jury of all women, they'll never get a conviction. After the kid testifies he'll probably high five all the guys in the jury on the way by. Someone might read this and want to be offended, but I'll refer you to the lyrics at the beginning of this post. Those lyrics were acceptable (and the music video) because this situation when the minor is a male is acceptable unlike when the minor is a girl and we all think the guy should be drawn and quartered. Heck, we just need to ask the boy, "You okay with this?" and when he responds, "Hell yeah!" just let it go.
But then my homework was never quite like this.
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
I’m hot for teacher.
I got it bad, so bad,
I’m hot for teacher.
Van Halen
Mary Kay from these here parts is now as far as I know living happily with her past student and their two kids. In spite of multiple trysts with a minor and convictions and two pregnancies, she really didn't serve much time.
Now we have the Florida woman who was boinking one of her 14 year old students. She pleaded for a few years house arrest. But wait - another judge is saying he's not going to accept the plea and is going to send it to trial. Had this woman looked as homely as Mary Kay, he wouldn't be doing that. He's just pissed because she's gorgeous and a 14 year old was doing her and not him. As http://debralafave.tripod.com/id1.html notes, "THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ONE LUCKY 14 YEAR-OLD BOY." with a picture of her in a bikini on a bike.
Now if this were a picture of some hunky male guy and it said 14 year-old girl - that would be totally unacceptable. But it isn't, this is a BOY we are talking about and no matter how feminist you get there is a difference between men and women and there always will be. Let's look at the circus act of statements:
Now, the prosecution and the defense have reached a plea agreement and come in and said, we think this is the best thing. Not necessarily for Debra Lafave, the 25-year-old teacher, but for the 14-year-old victim. Psychologists testified saying that he has already experienced some psychological damage and to put him on the stand could further present problems for him down the road.
HORSE PUCKY! The reason she probably got caught in the first place was because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He's 14, he's doing someone like that, he's telling everyone. My 8th grade algebra teacher Ms Pool - she was nice. Great butt. We used to chalk her stool so she's get chalk on her butt that wiggled when she erased the board. Had I been doing her, everyone would have known. This kid's mother may have sufferred some psychological damage, but the kid didn't and his father is probably proud.
Heck, they should let it go to trial - as long as it's not a jury of all women, they'll never get a conviction. After the kid testifies he'll probably high five all the guys in the jury on the way by. Someone might read this and want to be offended, but I'll refer you to the lyrics at the beginning of this post. Those lyrics were acceptable (and the music video) because this situation when the minor is a male is acceptable unlike when the minor is a girl and we all think the guy should be drawn and quartered. Heck, we just need to ask the boy, "You okay with this?" and when he responds, "Hell yeah!" just let it go.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Dubya's legacy
Reading Lynzie's post about the (South Dakota?) law that is making almost all abortions illegal reminded me of reading about it. Basically they are taking a shot at Row vs Wade. First off I am pro-choice. There are circumstances, rape and incest being the extreme end, that I don't believe I have the right to decide for a woman her decision to have an abortion. Personally however I am against abortion. People want to argue that there is some point after conception but before birth that it is a person. My mom put it rather simply, if she had had an abortion, I would not be here. If anyone reading this had been aborted by their mother, well, you wouldn't be reading this.
If Dubya's Supreme Court replacements actually swing the vote to overturn Roe vs Wade, that will probably be his biggest impact, not the mess in Iraq.
If Dubya's Supreme Court replacements actually swing the vote to overturn Roe vs Wade, that will probably be his biggest impact, not the mess in Iraq.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
6 Months To Live
My father called me at work the other day to tell me he had 6 months to live. I asked him what was wrong several times but at that point he had started crying and I couldn't understand what he was saying. He said I was the first to know and hung up. He has a wife and three kids besides me and still has a few of his brothers and sisters left. He was one of twelve children. His family has always been about as close as any normal family would be.
My mom had alienated herself from her family in the years before she died and the only ones that knew were me and my brother, and if it hadn't been for my brother I wouldn't have known. I guess her reasons were the same as mine would be, if you've alienated yourself from your family then it just selfish to burden them with knowing you're going to die. I've chosen to live without them and it wouldn't be right to burden them with the grief and expense to travel to the opposite coast just so I don't die alone.
My mom had alienated herself from her family in the years before she died and the only ones that knew were me and my brother, and if it hadn't been for my brother I wouldn't have known. I guess her reasons were the same as mine would be, if you've alienated yourself from your family then it just selfish to burden them with knowing you're going to die. I've chosen to live without them and it wouldn't be right to burden them with the grief and expense to travel to the opposite coast just so I don't die alone.
